Velcro trainers

I was looking at a stack of end-of-line Adidas Stan Smith on a clearance shelf at TK Maxx the other week and it occured to me that I was lucky enough to witness the original Velcro trainer explosion in the early eighties.

Spaceman-style footwear facilitating quick release hit a UK boom patch sometime around 1982 or '83.

Suddenly PE lessons had a new sound: instead of fumbling with laces after the usual session of movement to music / British bulldgogs (British school sports at primary level were, in my day, a paradoxical, fruit salad mix-up of humiliation, daring, high-octane thrills and seahorse impersonation; all choreographed by a middle-aged lady with a whistle), the post-PE changing rooms would echo with the sound of ripping Velcro as we cast aside sportsgear and returned to our wide-fit Clarks for an afternoon of study.

Of course, the Velcro straps of a quarter of a century ago were a far cry from the trim, pliant fasteners of a modern Stan Smith. Our Velcro came in the form of vast 'wings' which sat across our insteps. Indeed, Brian Blessed would have signed us up for the birdman army quick sharp once he clapped his bulging eyes on those sneakers.

Needless to say, as parents grew ever more aware of the cheap imitation Velcro which was rendering some of these newfangled trainers useless after a few weeks, laces were soon back in charge, and the next massive footwear revelation would be the phenomenal popularity of Ivan Lendl's tennis shoes and Hi-Tec Squash a couple of years later.

Webfoot cocklewomen and the tidy wives...

Kudos to the VW people for the new Golf advert which features an excerpt of Dylan Thomas's Under Milk Wood as performed by the inimitable Richard Burton.

To have a listen to the full audio, go to http://www.undermilkwood.net/prose_umw1.html.